This parenting blog has been written by Stacey Kelly at Your Very Own Story – the writer & illustrator of personalised children’s books. Click on the image above to preview yours now!
When trying for baby number 1, much to my surprise it took over 8 months. Even though this is quite common, until we started trying I never really knew the facts and naively just expected to make the decision to try for a family and that would be that (read my blog about this here). After a very long and emotional journey, the most amazing day finally arrived when we became parents and when I tell you that it changed me and my heart forever, I am not exaggerating! Never in my life have I loved anyone like I love my daughter. I love my husband as much as I could ever possibly love another person, but with your child it is different. The love runs through you in a way you’ve never experienced before and all of a sudden ‘loving someone so much it hurts’ is no longer just a phrase – it is an actual description of how you feel on a daily basis.
Now I have always wanted a big family and that hasn’t changed. However, as time went by and we started to talk about trying for baby number 2, fears that I didn’t even realise I had came to the surface!
As I find myself (on a regular basis) trying to navigate my toddler from A to B whilst she throws herself on the floor in protest, I do at times question the logistics of having more than one child. I mean when this happens, how on earth do you get back home in one piece? My poor toddler is struggling so much at the moment to cope with her big emotions and a newborn needs so much of your time – how do you meet both of their needs? I worry that a new baby would not be able to have the same undivided attention that my daughter has had and that my daughter would no longer be able to have the attention she is used to. Oh the worries! And the biggest worry of all – one that I don’t even like saying out loud – is what if I don’t feel the same about baby number 2? Can you really love anyone as much as your first? I’ll never forget my best friend’s mum saying to me that when you have more children your love doesn’t divide, it multiplies. Deep down I know that this is true and even though this should make me feel better, if I am really honest, this even scares me a bit! Can my heart really cope with double the amount of love that I feel right now? I’m already an emotional wreck with everything regarding my baby girl – what would I be like feeling this way about 2 children? Every little thing about being a parent tugs at your heart strings – I can’t imagine having double the emotion I feel right now!
Well the time finally came when I had worked through all of these irrational fears and felt that the time was right to start trying for another little addition to our family. Our daughter was 16 months old and sleeping slightly better at night (although sleeping is definitely not her strongest skill!) Knowing it took a while the first time around, I had it in my head that we would probably get pregnant around the time that Eleni turned 2 which would be a nice, manageable age gap. However, after just 1 week of trying, our little girl then started to wake up every 1-2 hours throughout the night so I quickly moved the goalposts and decided that the baby making would go on hold for now. No way could I cope with a newborn and a toddler that was sleeping like one!
Fast forward 6 weeks and I’m in the kitchen cooking a lovely family meal. I go to grab the cauliflower, take one look at it and in the most dramatic and unladylike manner you have ever seen, I find myself heaving whilst scrambling to get to the toilet so that I could throw up! The realisation suddenly dawned on my hubby and I and after an emergency pregnancy test shopping spree it confirmed that after 1 week (!!!) of trying, baby number 2 was definitely on his or her way!
There is no stranger feeling than finding out you are pregnant when you aren’t expecting it! I think we were in shock for a good few weeks, however, this was quickly replaced with excitement and the count down began.
Although this baby wasn’t 100% planned, it is such a precious gift and before even being born he or she has already taught me an important lesson. In life there will always be a reason to delay your plans and sometimes you can get so caught up in the reasons not to do something that you forget to consider all of the wonderful things that could happen if you did. Thank goodness this baby knew better and made the decision for us – I have the feeling that when we finally meet, he or she is going to teach me a thing or 2 about life!
I’m sat here now with just 9 weeks to go and with every week that passes by, my love grows and my fears reduce. I do still wonder about the logistics of it all but I have complete faith that everything will fall into place as it did when Eleni arrived. I am pretty sure that my biggest challenge will be coping with the emotion that comes with loving 2 children more than life itself. However, I am under no illusion how lucky I am to be in a position to even have this worry and as my unborn baby has already taught me, it is important to think of the wonderful times that will come as they will far outweigh the struggles.
Love Stacey x
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