Just like with your first child, nothing can prepare you for becoming a parent of two. Before our little man arrived, I had all sorts of worries. Can I love anyone else as much as I love my first child? Will I feel the same? Will my daughter cope with having to share us? Deep down I knew that everything would be fine, but I think most parents have these fears.
Well the day finally came when our son arrived and the moment I met him, all of my worries disappeared and were replaced by an overwhelming feeling of love – the same love that I felt for my little girl! Who’d have thought that our hearts could hold so much love inside?! Within seconds, I felt like he’d been a part of our family forever and couldn’t imagine life without him. One of my biggest concerns that didn’t disappear was that my daughter would struggle with the transition from being an only child to becoming one of two but to my delight (and relief), she instantly loved her baby brother. However, with that came its own problems! Her new favourite phrase was ‘it’s my baby Mummy’ as she wacked my hand away whilst simultaneously trying to pick him up by his head! Oh the anxiety! She just wanted to hold him all of the time but being two years old she didn’t understand that she had to be gentle. It was so hard because she was just loving him but inside I was having a panic attack and my instinct was to stop her. One of the hardest things was trying to control my emotions which having been let loose would have resulted in me being stern with her at a time when she just needed me to gently teach her how to hold her brother safely. I would have felt awful for making her feel like she was doing something wrong when her intention was simply to love and spend time with ‘her baby’. Emotionally it was tough because your instinct is to protect your new baby but in this circumstance there are two babies that need protecting – your newborn from his sister who literally wants to smother him with love, and your toddler from having her feelings hurt by constantly being told ‘no’. It really was a balancing act!
Now let’s talk about logistics. How on earth stay at home parents do this on their own is beyond me – it literally is a two-man job! The baby will need feeding and at the same time I will hear from the toilet ‘Mummy, I done a poooo’ or the baby will start crying at the same time that my toddler has just fallen over or you finally get your baby to sleep and your toddler decides to sing at the top of her lungs (either that or run over to him and say ‘no baby, WAKE, it’s morning now!’). The list is endless and it takes multitasking to a whole new level! Just writing this blog alone I’ve had to breastfeed our son, jig him because he wanted to sleep but wouldn’t give in, prevent my daughter form throwing a bowl of water over the dog and then cuddle her because she fell down the gap in the couch trying to chase the dog! To be honest it is utter chaos but that being said it is brilliant! I am very lucky to have my hubby at home in the day because he does split shifts and like with anything we are both learning and growing together. One thing I do know though is that we are doing our best and embracing this time because as chaotic as it is, it is the most special time of our lives. I feel so lucky to have been blessed with two amazing little people and I will forever do my best to get it right for both of them.
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Love Stacey x
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